“People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death” – Jessica Simpson
Life is already full of struggles without having someone kicking you from inside. Somebody told me that a baby will make love stronger and home happier. Pheww.. all these noble thoughts flew out of the window, the moment I started feeling those crazy morning sickness, nausea, headache and what not. The journey of conceiving motherhood is undoubtedly exciting but it also turns your whole life upside down!!
Ladies!!! Have you ever realised that you are not alone in this… your husband is also equally part of this new world? Have you ever considered looking at pregnancy issues from his perspective –
What challenges does your partner in crime encounter, as the pregnancy progress!!!
This is new for him as well, certainly his troubles are nowhere close to yours, but he also goes through a psychological trauma if not the physical pain. Dilemma is he can’t even share his fears and concerns with you, as it will just through you over the cliff and add to your anxiety.
Here I am sharing my thoughts on challenges that husband encounter during wife’s pregnancy –
The first thought that comes into a guy’s mind is – “Am I ready?”. Am I ready to be a daddy, am I ready for a baby? The thought of the baby suddenly make them fell old – a reality check on age. They start thinking – “Really, now I am going to be a father, kids are going to call me uncle – my life is ruined.” “Why do we have to think of a baby in the first place – see what rocking life we have, just the two of us.”
It’s a big decision and there is nothing wrong in having these fears and uncertainties. It’s important to sit together and talk through all the fears. B’coz boy!!!, Life is never the same after being the parents. It’s better to think now then to think later – “what have we done? I am not ready for this”.
“Will I be able to support a new member?” Baby comes with tons of responsibilities and monetary expense is one of them. When planning for a baby, the thought of financial stability crosses every guy’s mind. From formula feed to diapers, vaccinations, cloths, toys – babies demand different financial commitments as they grow up. When planning for a baby, it’s advisable to discuss on family financials, so that you don’t get caught off guard.
The thought of seeing you going through terrifying labour pains, over and above to the day-to-day struggle associated with the journey of 9 months, send chills to your beloved partner. For them labour is more or less like a blind date, they are excited but at the same time terrified to their soul, to what they have read and watched in movies. They act strong, but really don’t have the strength to see the love of their life in that pain.
When I was expecting Vivaan, I had quite a few complications. It was like holding a check list, where each month doctor used to tick mark a new complication – “Congratulations Shefali, now you have to deal with this as well”. I remember, more than me, Rahul (my husband) was going through emotional breakdown. He used to hold my hand, look into my eyes and ask me one question –
Rahul: Are you okie…. I can’t see you in this condition any longer
My Reply: What the hell are you talking about? Of course I am not okie, can’t you see. (This used to just freak him out )
Like we all know, overload of hormones drives us nuts with crazy mood swings. With soaring hormonal levels, we find ourselves excited, sobbing, laughing, depressed – sometimes all at the same time. I was a cry baby when I was expecting Vivaan, half of the time I didn’t know why I was crying. When Rahul tried to comfort me, I used to get hysterical that he just doesn’t understand what I am going through. As pregnancy progressed, I used to find myself wide awake at 4 AM, thinking of the baby. Watching baby development videos, made me more anxious of baby’s growth – basically nothing was working out, and I felt as if I had no control over myself
On one hand, where it is extremely difficult for us to deal with all the anxiety, heartburn, fatigue, insomnia, etc., it is equally difficult for husband to handle us and our ever changing mood swings.
They feel like “Ahhhh… f**k these mood swings, what am I supposed to do, I’m going crazy” 😤
To-dos, so that your husband can also survive
Whether you are getting nuts or driving others, here are few things that I tried which let both of us survive –
Talk to your partner – Express what you are feeling to him, to make him understand why you are behaving this way. It will save both of know from killing each other. Let him know beforehand how you want him to act in certain situations. Like, I told Rahul – when I am sobbing, don’t try to reason out and find the problem. Just hear me out and comfort me, don’t put your brain into it
Plan a trip – Go to your favourite destination with your husband and enjoy yourself. Do whatever you wish to do and just live in the moments. Remember, this may be your last trip as just two of you, so make the most of it.
Take it easy – Plan for dinner dates, movies, hangout with friends, and relax. We often make the mistake to ignore our partner during pregnancy, and focus just on ourselves and the baby. It’s important to give each other time and have some chillax time. Leave all the worries behind, your anxiety and fears are not going to make things any better.
Disclaimer: I strongly recommend to seek your gynaecologist advice before planning for any trip or outing. Each pregnancy is not the same, so don’t ignore your doctor’s opinion and do as she/he recommends.
These are my thoughts on husband’s struggle, I would love to hear yours as well. Read More
Happy Reading – LifeBeingMomma